Timely Silence

If you want to add value through your words, here’s a simple best practice: 

Use fewer of them. 

Ideas of value always shun verbosity, being foreign to confusion and fantasy. Timely silence then is precious, for it is nothing less than the mother of the wisest thoughts.

—Diadochos of Photiki, On Spiritual Knowledge and Discrimination

If it helps you remember, here’s a more poetic version: 

Ideas that are dear 
are real and clear.

There’s even a special bonus for the taciturn: when we keep timely silence, others will often think we’re wiser than we actually are!

A Best Practice for the Remote Life

In a recent video conference via FaceTime, a friend showed me the best practice I’ve seen so far during the coronavirus pandemic: use a sticky note to cover the image of yourself on your screen. 

Brilliant. 

Because it’s just such good common sense. And a reminder that the increasingly powerful tools we make for ourselves to use can use us if we’re not thoughtfully attentive. 

We can’t see ourselves during in-person conversations, right? So why should we let ourselves be distracted by our reflections during remote conversations? What would you think of a person who brought a mirror to a coffee meeting and set it up on the table while you were talking? Isn’t it better to choose a living mirror rather than one made of glass?

The quality of our connection depends on our concentration. 

Now go buy yourself some sticky notes.

Because It Matters

Every professional writer has an editor because no writer is perfect. And because the writing matters.

Every aspiring athlete has a trainer because she can’t pay attention to the mechanics of her backhand while she’s returning the volley. And because the game matters.

Every serious student has a teacher because a teacher integrates fragmented information and knowledge in a transformative, human way. And because the learning matters.

Why doesn’t every person have a coach when it matters? 

Perhaps the value proposition doesn’t appeal to some people. Perhaps some people don’t value greater self-knowledge or awareness or perspective or integrative clarity or constructive challenge from someone who genuinely cares about their success.

Obviously, it can’t be about the money since coaching is not that expensive, and since we always have money for the things that matter most to us.

Or is perhaps the reason a terribly sad one, that some people just don’t think they or their contribution matter very much at all, that their lives or work just aren’t that important? 

These are not rhetorical questions. Your thoughts in response are welcome.