March 2020 – Allaxis Partners

My mother is a legendary bargainer. She almost never buys anything for more than 75% off its retail price. When she does even better, she becomes positively gleeful. But as gratifying as it is to save money, bargaining has greater benefits than just the financial.

Every event is like a bazaar. He who knows how to bargain makes a good profit. He who does not makes a loss.
—Mark the Ascetic

So how exactly does one bargain with everything that happens?

One answer to this question is detachment, first and foremost from the desire for control. One entrepreneurª adds that negotiations are typically won by whomever cares less. So being a good bargainer also means detachment from the outcome.

Another answer is positive thinking or mindset. A former Navy SEAL˚ encourages his team to say “good” to every setback, to refuse any negative interpretation and to insist on finding a positive one.

Yet another answer is perspective. Changing the way we see changes the game. Taking the long-term view instead of the short-term casts the event in a new light. Putting yourself in another person’s shoes creates an entirely new experience.

A good bargainer has a paradoxical blend of firmness and flexibility. She knows what she’s not willing to pay, detached enough from the outcome to walk away, but is flexible about what she is willing to pay. She’s firm in her knowledge that the first encounter is not the only one, that there will be other opportunities, and flexible about what will be the right combination of patience and decisiveness to effect the win.

Finally, she doesn’t passively accept as a given what the other offers, be that a price, an opinion, or an interpretation. She spars and dialogues, more interested in the energy in between than on the agents on either end. In short, she plays.

What event have you been dealt lately to bargain with? And how will you play?

ª https://podcastnotes.org/navals-periscope-sessions/naval-nivi-45/

˚ https://originleadership.com/jocko-willink-good-transcript/

The fighter Conor McGregor’s career has been nothing if not dramatic. After rising to the top of the mixed martial arts (MMA) totem pole, he tumbled down, falling victim to the vices so often born of success, which in his case included ego and alcohol. A few months ago, he just as dramatically redeemed himself,ª defeating his opponent in a mere forty seconds. What was the key to his turnaround?

In a recent conversation about high performance, Travis Dommert shared that his research of great athletes and elite military forces revealed that they had at least one thing in common: the high performers in each of these fields had consistently submitted their will to a program or system that made them great.

The building blocks of any system or program, regardless of its origin, include habits. Many of these habits are transferrable and widely applicable outside the contexts from which they come. Here’s one example from monasticism, a pattern of activities that can be highly programmatic.:

Saint Basil the Great says that a great help towards…not committing daily the same faults is for us to review in our conscience at the end of each day what we have done wrong what we have done right. Job did this with regard both to himself and his children (Job 1.5). These daily reckonings illumine a man’s hour by hour behavior.
—Hesychios the Priest

Clearly, the daily review is not a new idea, but there are at least two striking aspects to this particular reflection. One is the example of Job, who practiced a daily review not only with regard to himself but also with regard to his children. How many of the teammates whom we are responsible to support have this kind of attention from us on a daily basis? What would happen if the time spent on annual or semiannual performance reviews were redistributed to something much shorter on a weekly or daily basis?

The other is that these daily reckonings illumine a person’s hour by hour behavior. It is truly a wonder of the human mind’s faculty for attention that the consistency of a daily review can sharpen our vision to see even the quality of our behavior on an hourly level.

Most people have daily habits, processes, or systems in place to protect and care for themselves, such as washing one’s hands before a meal or flossing teeth. How many people have such daily practices in place for their growth and development? And what, I wonder, are they?

ª https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6J6ymi8DuE

Bargain

Review