The Gifts of Suffering

Whether they are professional or personal, struggles and challenges come to us all, and we suffer in one way or another. One of my clients is struggling through a career transition after taking time off to care for her father during his cancer treatment, much like the many women who take time off for childbirth, and she has suffered through the rejections of her applications for many jobs (often with no reason given). Another friend recently saw a considerably younger and less experienced person promoted to be her supervisor, a role for which she may be objectively more qualified. 

Often we can’t see any gift or grace in the midst of these struggles or the suffering they bring. Those gifts are almost always there, but the pain is sometimes too great: we can’t see the gifts through the tears. We often need to grieve, share, and release the pain before we can see those gifts.

What are these gifts? Perhaps one is that suffering reveals and reminds us of the reality of our weakness, limitation, and need. Perhaps the grace of suffering is in the humility, vulnerability, and broken-openness to which it can draw us, and in the self-knowledge that can come from those.

Every affliction tests our will, showing whether it is inclined to good or evil. This is why an unforeseen affliction is called a test, because it enables a man to test his hidden desires.

—Mark the Ascetic

Every struggle, challenge, or affliction is a gift when it enables us to see ourselves more clearly, more realistically, when it reveals what had before been hidden, particularly our desires and the inclination of our will.

This is a deep subject, far beyond anyone’s ability to explore in a short message. I write mainly to encourage those of you who may be suffering in some way, and all of you who might remember this during a future challenge: suffering can hold much more than just pain. Hidden in it may be precious gifts for you. I always welcome the opportunity to help you see them.