Lessons from the Incarcerated
So much can be learned from extreme experiences. Although the coronavirus pandemic of 2020 is incomparably less terrible than the Holocaust of World War II, reflecting on the lessons learned from survivors of that savage chapter of human history can help us now. There are few more life-giving and inspiring reflections on that dark period than Dr. Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.
The Inner Life, Art, and Nature
Following the coronavirus outbreak, the need for physical distancing—even to the extent of isolation or quarantine—has meant a loss of freedom for large numbers of people throughout the world. But a restriction of outward activity, as Dr. Frankl learned, does not mean a restriction of inner activity: “this intensification of inner life helped the prisoner find a refuge from the emptiness, desolation, and spiritual poverty of his existence…” and experience the beauty of art and nature as never before. We have seen this in our time, from the communal singing from Italian balconies to the resurgence of that simplest of outdoor pleasures, taking a walk around one’s neighborhood. A loss of freedom makes possible the sharpening of our senses and sensibilities and perhaps a sharpening of our abilities in creative expression. There has never been a better time to dust off that old musical instrument or take up a new art.
Curiosity and Humor
A restriction of external activity takes a toll on us. Frankl found two other weapons to combat this experience: curiosity and humor. The first was a psychological means of self-protection in the context of a concentration camp, but it can be repurposed in the time of this coronavirus. We can use the detachment and objectivity that curiosity brings to examine and understand both ourselves and others better, especially with the reduction of the non-essential activity that often distracts us from that understanding. As for humor, Frankl wrote that it “more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds.” So keep those funny memes coming!
Future Goals
During the pandemic of early 2020, boredom set in quickly, followed by depression. Frankl reported that the most depressing part of being in a concentration camp was that a prisoner could not know how long his term of imprisonment would be. He discovered that “any attempt at fighting the camp’s influence on the prisoner had to aim at giving him an inner strength by pointing out to him a future goal to which he could look forward. It is a peculiarity of man that he can only live by looking to the future.” Even if we cannot act on those goals now, Frankl asserts that it is critical to our mental health to keep them in mind, engaging our mental powers to imagine and plan for our eventual action toward those goals.
Thankfulness for the Past
But inner life can develop not just into the future but also into the past. For the prisoner in the concentration camp, this was a means to hold on to his identity and the meaning of his life. In a less dire situation, it can take on a different purpose: when done with gratitude or thankfulness, reflection on the past can be a powerful defense against the depression by which we may feel threatened. Better yet if this reflection gets expressed in written form, in a journal perhaps or in a handwritten letter or note to someone.
Whenever one is confronted with an inescapable, unavoidable situation, whenever one has to face a fate that cannot be changed, just then is one given a last chance to actualize the highest value, to fulfill the deepest meaning, the meaning of suffering. For what matters above all is the attitude we take toward suffering, the attitude in which we take our suffering upon ourselves.
Dr. Viktor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning
A Pause of Grace
In the Psalms, the word selah is understood to mean a pause, even a pause of grace. The current public health crisis allows us just such an opportunity for a pause from our usual activities of the day and week, from the noise and distraction they often create. Difficult as it is, the pandemic is also an opportunity for experiencing more deeply the beauty of art and nature, for curiosity and humor, for refocusing on our goals for the future, and for grateful reflection on the past. All of this will only help us become more present in the present when the pause is over, and our daily and weekly activities even more meaningful.
Bargain
My mother is a legendary bargainer. She almost never buys anything for more than 75% off its retail price. When she does even better, she becomes positively gleeful. But as gratifying as it is to save money, bargaining has greater benefits than just the financial.
Every event is like a bazaar. He who knows how to bargain makes a good profit. He who does not makes a loss.
—Mark the Ascetic
So how exactly does one bargain with everything that happens?
One answer to this question is detachment, first and foremost from the desire for control. One entrepreneurª adds that negotiations are typically won by whomever cares less. So being a good bargainer also means detachment from the outcome.
Another answer is positive thinking or mindset. A former Navy SEAL˚ encourages his team to say “good” to every setback, to refuse any negative interpretation and to insist on finding a positive one.
Yet another answer is perspective. Changing the way we see changes the game. Taking the long-term view instead of the short-term casts the event in a new light. Putting yourself in another person’s shoes creates an entirely new experience.
A good bargainer has a paradoxical blend of firmness and flexibility. She knows what she’s not willing to pay, detached enough from the outcome to walk away, but is flexible about what she is willing to pay. She’s firm in her knowledge that the first encounter is not the only one, that there will be other opportunities, and flexible about what will be the right combination of patience and decisiveness to effect the win.
Finally, she doesn’t passively accept as a given what the other offers, be that a price, an opinion, or an interpretation. She spars and dialogues, more interested in the energy in between than on the agents on either end. In short, she plays.
What event have you been dealt lately to bargain with? And how will you play?
ª https://podcastnotes.org/navals-periscope-sessions/naval-nivi-45/
˚ https://originleadership.com/jocko-willink-good-transcript/
Review
The fighter Conor McGregor’s career has been nothing if not dramatic. After rising to the top of the mixed martial arts (MMA) totem pole, he tumbled down, falling victim to the vices so often born of success, which in his case included ego and alcohol. A few months ago, he just as dramatically redeemed himself,ª defeating his opponent in a mere forty seconds. What was the key to his turnaround?
In a recent conversation about high performance, Travis Dommert shared that his research of great athletes and elite military forces revealed that they had at least one thing in common: the high performers in each of these fields had consistently submitted their will to a program or system that made them great.
The building blocks of any system or program, regardless of its origin, include habits. Many of these habits are transferrable and widely applicable outside the contexts from which they come. Here’s one example from monasticism, a pattern of activities that can be highly programmatic.:
Saint Basil the Great says that a great help towards…not committing daily the same faults is for us to review in our conscience at the end of each day what we have done wrong what we have done right. Job did this with regard both to himself and his children (Job 1.5). These daily reckonings illumine a man’s hour by hour behavior.
—Hesychios the Priest
Clearly, the daily review is not a new idea, but there are at least two striking aspects to this particular reflection. One is the example of Job, who practiced a daily review not only with regard to himself but also with regard to his children. How many of the teammates whom we are responsible to support have this kind of attention from us on a daily basis? What would happen if the time spent on annual or semiannual performance reviews were redistributed to something much shorter on a weekly or daily basis?
The other is that these daily reckonings illumine a person’s hour by hour behavior. It is truly a wonder of the human mind’s faculty for attention that the consistency of a daily review can sharpen our vision to see even the quality of our behavior on an hourly level.
Most people have daily habits, processes, or systems in place to protect and care for themselves, such as washing one’s hands before a meal or flossing teeth. How many people have such daily practices in place for their growth and development? And what, I wonder, are they?
ª https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6J6ymi8DuE