Failure

Failure is never fun. No one likes to lose.

Yet we all experience defeat from time to time. We don’t hit our sales goals. We get into automobile accidents. We fail in relationships. The list goes on.

But check out this thoughtful reflection by Francis T. Vincent, a former Commissioner of Major League Baseball:

Baseball teaches us, or has taught most of us, how to deal with failure. We learn at a very young age that failure is the norm in baseball and, precisely because we have failed, we hold in high regard those who fail less often – those who hit safely in one out of three chances and become star players. I also find it fascinating that baseball, alone in sport, considers errors to be part of the game, part of its rigorous truth.

“Failure is the norm in baseball.” And perhaps in life. Does this insight take some of failure’s sting away?

Maybe a little bit, but it still hurts. How then do we live in this tension—between the goal of victory and the reality of occasional defeat? 

If we can’t avoid failure altogether, the goal (as Mr. Vincent said) is to fail less often, to get better. There are plenty of exhortations to learn from failure, which is one of the best responses to it. But what about developing a mindset that we can carry ahead of time into any test, trial, or work—a mindset that can help us both to deal with failure when it happens and to fail less often?

There is such a mindset. It’s that state in which we’re grounded and in touch with reality. It helps us remember our failures so that we can also remember the lessons we learned from them. It helps us become more other-conscious instead of self-conscious. It helps the rigid become more spontaneous and the careless become more careful. 

It’s humility. 

How do we develop it? By doing those things that keep us grounded and in touch with reality. By remembering our failures and the lessons learned from them. By intentionally paying more attention to others than we do to ourselves. By inviting truthful and constructive feedback.

Doing these things may be difficult or unattractive in some ways, but they will make our inevitable defeats less difficult and unattractive. And best of all, they will help us fail less often—and win more.