Bargain

My mother is a legendary bargainer. She almost never buys anything for more than 75% off its retail price. When she does even better, she becomes positively gleeful. But as gratifying as it is to save money, bargaining has greater benefits than just the financial.

Every event is like a bazaar. He who knows how to bargain makes a good profit. He who does not makes a loss.

—Mark the Ascetic

So how exactly does one bargain with everything that happens? 

One answer to this question is detachment, first and foremost from the desire for control. One entrepreneurª adds that negotiations are typically won by whomever cares less. So being a good bargainer also means detachment from the outcome.

Another answer is positive thinking or mindset. A former Navy SEAL˚ encourages his team to say “good” to every setback, to refuse any negative interpretation and to insist on finding a positive one.

Yet another answer is perspective. Changing the way we see changes the game. Taking the long-term view instead of the short-term casts the event in a new light. Putting yourself in another person’s shoes creates an entirely new experience.

A good bargainer has a paradoxical blend of firmness and flexibility. She knows what she’s not willing to pay, detached enough from the outcome to walk away, but is flexible about what she is willing to pay. She’s firm in her knowledge that the first encounter is not the only one, that there will be other opportunities, and flexible about what will be the right combination of patience and decisiveness to effect the win.

Finally, she doesn’t passively accept as a given what the other offers, be that a price, an opinion, or an interpretation. She spars and dialogues, more interested in the energy in between than on the agents on either end. In short, she plays.

What event have you been dealt lately to bargain with? And how will you play?

ª https://podcastnotes.org/navals-periscope-sessions/naval-nivi-45/

˚ https://originleadership.com/jocko-willink-good-transcript/