As someone who values generosity, I wish I could be more enthusiastic about “Giving Tuesday” than I am. After all, what could be bad about a national day of giving, the development of a cultural consciousness that generosity deserves our attention?

Personally, it’s easy for me to feel a bit overwhelmed (and sometimes annoyed) by all the emails I receive on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. I’ve become painfully aware that as a fundraiser I have at times contributed to this deluge of messaging that I myself dislike to receive—seemingly out of fear of missing out in a mad scramble for dollars at the kickoff of the holiday season, which doesn’t at all feel in sync with an “abundance mindset.” For me, it all boils down to feeling a little depersonalized through the “Giving Tuesday” experience (created and driven by the internet) and this is a problem for a very simple reason:

Generosity is personal.

From this principle, developed in various ways in an excellent class* I recently took, here are three powerful insights I intend to carry forward in my work as a fundraiser:

1. The donor’s personal interests and motivations are always what’s most important. This may seem basic, but I struggled with it at first. I thought, “Does this mean my organization has to cater to every special interest of every potential donor?” No. If a potential donor’s interest isn’t aligned with your organization’s values and mission, that donation is simply not for you. Which leads to the second insight:
2. A fundraiser’s goal should be to find the best match for a donor’s gift—even if the recipient is not the fundraiser’s organization. If the first insight freed me from the fear of compromising values and mission, this one was even more liberating. The reason is twofold: first, it is a great expression of an abundance mindset (as opposed to one of scarcity), and second, it enables a fundraiser to embody the values about which she or he speaks—or in my case, preaches.
3. A fundraiser’s personal attachments may be the biggest obstacle to generosity. For me, this was the chief takeaway from the class, at the beginning of which I shared that fundraising was something I “despised”—a strong word but perhaps not inaccurate at that time. As things turned out, it was mainly my ignorance, vainglory, and pride that drove this antipathy toward the practice of fundraising. I am so much more comfortable now with the prospect of talking to people about money and giving, especially since I’ve been freed from the mistaken notion that such conversations must have the goal of persuading people to give more to my cause. They absolutely don’t.

You may have a great experience of “Giving Tuesday” next week, receiving anticipated and welcomed messages from organizations with which you have a strong and positive connection. You might also appreciate the way these email messages have been organized to coalesce in your inbox during the week after Thanksgiving so you can see all your giving options at the same time.

But if your experience is like mine has been, next week’s messages could leave you feeling about as lukewarm as leftover turkey. And this would be a problem if you have a generous heart, if you feel the desire to give for any reason whatsoever—if for example you are thankful for the blessings you’ve received, or if you are passionate in the best sense about an important cause. If that’s the case, don’t let the “Giving Tuesday” blues get the best of you and discourage you from giving. Reach out to a likeminded friend for a conversation or to a generous fundraiser who will help you find a good match for your gift. 

Because generosity is personal. Our giving is an expression of what we value and what we want. It can help solve problems. It can help balance inequity. It shows that we care about something bigger than ourselves. 

Happy Thanksgiving—and happy giving!

* https://lakeinstitute.org/education/executive-certificate-in-religious-fundraising/