Magnified by Meaning

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Out of the greatest darkness can come the brightest light.

Such was the story of Viktor Frankl, the holocaust survivor who went on to pioneer a form of psychotherapy that reintegrated what had been lost by so many in the modern world: meaning.

There are many who wake up every day without a clear sense of meaning or purpose for their lives. They may experience a constant boredom or an absence of energy. Often they might seek to numb the low-grade pain of this void in various unhealthy ways—with power, with pleasure, or with something else that allows them to escape for a moment from that draining reality.

The good news is that no one has to be trapped in such an existence. There is a better life available, and Frankl offers us helpful guidelines for how to enter into a life magnified by meaning. Here are three of them:

One of his most important principles is that “the true meaning of life is to be found in the world rather than within man or his own psyche, as though it were a closed system.” In other words, he tells us that as beneficial as personal retreats can be, we will not find the meaning of our lives simply by gazing at our navels in solitude. We will find it rather by engaging with the world around us, with the people around us, with the reality of our past and the potential of our future. Elsewhere Dr. Frankl writes, “I think the meaning of our existence is not invented by ourselves, but rather detected.”

A second critical principle is that there is no such thing as an abstract or general meaning of life. Because every human being is unique and unrepeatable, the meaning or purpose of his or her life must also be unique and unrepeatable. In Frankl’s own words:

The meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters therefore is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment….One should not search for an abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. In this he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.

Even for believers within a spiritual tradition that provides general or abstract principles regarding the purpose of life, they must still apply those principles within the specific contexts and particularities of their lives. Otherwise, those principles remain words without flesh, unreal ideas deprived of concrete expression.

Dr. Frankl adds that meaning is not just found in work, but also in love:

This uniqueness and singleness which distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence has a bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love. When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life.

Finally, Frankl calls us to decisive action. Detecting our life’s purpose and meaning is not just a head game of reflection or meditation. Every moment sets before us infinite possibilities. The stories and meaning of our lives are determined by the choices and decisions we make, by what we do and by what we don’t do. Reflecting on his and his comrades’ experience in the concentration camps, Dr. Frankl writes:

We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.

If you want to live a life magnified by meaning, remember these lessons from Viktor Frankl:

  1. Meaning is not found within ourselves. It is beyond us, and it is found by engaging with the world and especially the people around us. It lives in the space between.
  2. Meaning is not abstract and general but rather as unique and unrepeatable as a human fingerprint. It is not static but ever-changing.
  3. Meaning is not just understood through talk and reflection. It is also created by the decisive actions that are our answers to the questions and problems of life that confront us.

By living into the truth of these principles, by living a life magnified by meaning, you also can become a reflection of light in a world darkened by its absence.

Failure

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Failure is never fun. No one likes to lose.

Yet we all experience defeat from time to time. We don’t hit our sales goals. We get into automobile accidents. We fail in relationships. The list goes on.

But check out this thoughtful reflection by Francis T. Vincent, a former Commissioner of Major League Baseball:

Baseball teaches us, or has taught most of us, how to deal with failure. We learn at a very young age that failure is the norm in baseball and, precisely because we have failed, we hold in high regard those who fail less often – those who hit safely in one out of three chances and become star players. I also find it fascinating that baseball, alone in sport, considers errors to be part of the game, part of its rigorous truth.

“Failure is the norm in baseball.” And perhaps in life. Does this insight take some of failure’s sting away?

Maybe a little bit, but it still hurts. How then do we live in this tension—between the goal of victory and the reality of occasional defeat? 

If we can’t avoid failure altogether, the goal (as Mr. Vincent said) is to fail less often, to get better. There are plenty of exhortations to learn from failure, which is one of the best responses to it. But what about developing a mindset that we can carry ahead of time into any test, trial, or work—a mindset that can help us both to deal with failure when it happens and to fail less often?

There is such a mindset. It’s that state in which we’re grounded and in touch with reality. It helps us remember our failures so that we can also remember the lessons we learned from them. It helps us become more other-conscious instead of self-conscious. It helps the rigid become more spontaneous and the careless become more careful. 

It’s humility. 

How do we develop it? By doing those things that keep us grounded and in touch with reality. By remembering our failures and the lessons learned from them. By intentionally paying more attention to others than we do to ourselves. By inviting truthful and constructive feedback.

Doing these things may be difficult or unattractive in some ways, but they will make our inevitable defeats less difficult and unattractive. And best of all, they will help us fail less often—and win more.

Freedom To or Freedom From?

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I wonder sometimes how well we understand what freedom actually is. In exploring this subject, one helpful distinction is to reflect on the phrases “freedom to” and “freedom from.” 

If this topic speaks to you, you may want to pause in reading this and take two minutes to write those two phrases at the top of a piece of paper. Then underneath them, write as many words as capture what you want in your work and life. To take the next step, mark the words or phrases in each column that are the most important to you right now.

Which column is longer? Which one is more meaningful to you? I would be grateful if you would share your thoughts and reflections in the comments below.

I recently read the letters that a wise man wrote in his old age to his sisters. In one of them, he writes:

The prerequisite for the experience of true freedom is not to have dominion over anyone and for no one else to have control over you. Every man inevitably forfeits his freedom as soon as any power over any one of his fellows manifests itself in him. The aspiration to dominate is itself the consequence of an inner enslavement. In enslavement there is no love.

He says that true freedom is freedom from dominion, control, and the expression of power—both that which we have over others, and that which others have over us. He asserts that we lose our freedom when this power gets expressed in us. Finally, he says that the desire to dominate and control comes from an inner enslavement. This is sobering when I consider the bitter irony that a desire for a “freedom to” can sometimes involve a desire for power or control.

Perhaps one can sum up that “freedom to” is often about our will, our wants or desires, and our power to effect them. “Freedom from,” on the other hand, seems to be more about our experience of life, more existential.

If you want to experience more freedom in your life, I welcome the opportunity to engage in a supportive, constructive conversation with you. I extend the same offer to those of you who may not be sure what to do with the freedom you have. After all, what we do with the freedom we enjoy can be greater than freedom itself.